How can guilt elevate one’s level of academic anxiety and what are some of the solutions to combat it.
A thought which I have pondered on recently is that for most of us in the UAE, our parents have provided for our needs at great expense for most of our lives. Growing up, it was probably not something that many of us gave a second thought to, they were our primary caregivers and providers after all. Upon venturing into adulthood and enrolling in universities (specifically private universities), many gradually become aware of the lengths that their parents have gone to, to provide a quality life for them. For the most part, this realization is coupled with a sense of gratitude and appreciation, but for others, this realization can inspire feelings of guilt, indebtedness, and a general fear of disappointment, all of which can trigger, or heighten, their academic anxiety.
A prominent emotion among university students is that of guilt towards having your academic pursuits sponsored by your parents. According to Dr. Susan Krauss Whitbourne in her 2012’s Psychology Today article, guilt is a negative emotion and moreover, it is not a good motivator. In other words, having the idea in the back of your head that your parents are paying for your tuition, and the amount of money that will be “lost” if you fail and repeat a course, or drop it completely, is not a particularly good idea. Given the negative connotations of such an emotion, it will cast a dark cloud over your head. Furthermore, assuming that the guilt does motivate a student to excel academically, the cost at which that success will come is not as valuable as maintaining normal anxiety levels, and general wellbeing and livelihood. You will not reap the same rewards from your education if you spend the four years feeling guilty for simply having access to it, and you will likely not achieve the results you could have if you’d maintained a positive mindset, and been fully attentive. From an investment perspective, investing in your guilt will not reap the benefits of the tuition that is being paid.
This type of guilt seems tangentially similar to survivor’s guilt, or guilt that you’re doing better than someone else (Whitbourne, 2012). In this situation, the guilt may be influenced by the idea of your parents not having access to the same opportunities available to you, or by the financial challenges experienced by your peers.
As an emotion, guilt can’t be explained, nor can it be completely eliminated from your life. Guilt will persist to exist, so you should be aware of its existence, and train yourself to resist it. The goal, as a university student, is not to take your parent’s financial (and emotional) support for granted, but to take it positively and make the most of it in ways which make both you and your parents proud. You should instead remind yourself how grateful you are (and should be) for having this opportunity, how your parents love you, and how this could be the key to having a successful life. While it is a parental obligation in many cultures to care for their offspring in every aspect, it is also a privilege as sometimes this is not feasible due to the financial constraints.
Academic anxiety can be triggered and heightened by many factors, with guilt being a contributor. Please remind yourself that you shouldn’t feel guilty for receiving this gift of education. As a university student, whether from a stable or stark financial background, you shouldn’t allow the curtains of guilt to cloak your vision of the bigger picture. Your guilt won’t make your grades any better, nor will it make the amount of tuition being paid any less – but a positive mindset and a gracious attitude might!
This article has been written as part of The UAE Rosalynn Carter Fellowship for Mental Health Journalism sponsored by Al Jalila Foundation.
P.S. If you’re facing any sort of mental health issue problems, please refer to this post for suggestions on how to get help.
Don’t Feel Guilty for Your Education
