Does the society discriminate against men when it comes to mental health problems? How can we build a better generation of men that are empowered to express their emotions and mental health problems?
While mental health has been stigmatized across borders and genders, it is still more socially acceptable for women to talk about their mental health and seek treatment. Men, however, face the added challenge of having another barrier to tackle when discussing their mental health, which is toxic masculinity.
One definition of toxic masculinity is: “Toxic masculinity is a narrow and repressive description of manhood, designating manhood as defined by violence, sex, status, and aggression. It’s the cultural ideal of manliness, where strength is everything while emotions are a weakness; where sex and brutality are yardsticks by which men are measured, while supposedly “feminine” traits—such as emotional vulnerability—are the means by which your status as “man” can be taken away.”[1]
Social norms make it difficult for men to show their emotions, as society says they are supposed to be rigid and emotionless. In most patriarchal societies, if a man does show his emotional side he is condemned and will be considered less masculine. Emotionally, men are marginalized and oppressed which is a cause of poor mental health. Thus, there is an overlap between masculinity and poor mental health in men.
We often hear the phrase, “Man up,” which basically encourages men to suppress their feelings and behave as if they’re emotionless. Men are taught not to show any sign of affection, weakness, or fear, which feeds into the notion of masculinity. Men have become accustomed to behaving in a strong but cold manner. They believe showcasing emotions is not manly. The phrase ‘man up’ disconnects the average man from his feelings, this is detrimental to both his mental health and the society as a whole, mainly because such belief systems filter down to younger generations.
Learning from the teachings of previous generations of men, it has become a multi-generational understanding between men not to speak up or to feel. This incites insecurity, self-hatred, self-harm, and bottling up of emotions, which eventually causes the victim to erupt and can lead to mental illness and suicidal episodes.
As such, we must begin to dismantle the stigma and encourage a generational shift, breaking away from the old ideas. Education is the first step to changing any consistent mentality. For instance, parents need to stop telling their little boys to ‘man up’ or that ‘boys don’t cry’ as that not only encourages them to suppress emotions but also cripples their emotional development. Little boys internalize such thoughts, which contributes to the growth of toxic masculinity and creates an unfortunate cycle.
Little boys should instead be taught that there is strength in being vulnerable and that men admitting they have feelings show strength in a society that refuses to treat them as emotional beings. In addition, masculinity should be redefined to fit our modern times. We live in a time that challenges previously accepted truths. The concepts of masculinity and femininity have transformed completely, where traditional gender norms are no longer set in stone.
While our understanding of masculinity is evolving, concepts of toxic masculinity resonate with older generations that are still raising younger generations. Therefore, awareness and advocacy are crucial aspects of breaking the conditioning, something this article is attempting to do. We must highlight the voices of men and make sure to teach them that they are not judged for expressing their emotions. It is time that men’s emotions became valid. We must work together to destroy the stigma and refuse to be part of the negative narrative. We should no longer shame men for feeling, or mock their masculinity when they express their emotions. Change starts with the individual.
This article has been written as part of The UAE Rosalynn Carter Fellowship for Mental Health Journalism sponsored by Al Jalila Foundation.
P.S. If you’re facing any sort of mental health issue problems, please refer to this post for suggestions on how to get help.
References:
[1] https://www.tolerance.org/magazine/what-we-mean-when-we-say-toxic-masculinity
